My life so far

Photo by Babeth Lolarga

Every day since the 26th of March, it is this view from the topfloor of the home-office window that has greeted me "Good morning, Babeth!", unless gray clouds are out or my daughter has beaten me to the seat with a view to meet her own deadlines. 

I have tried to make the most of those days whether sunny or un-. When the internal weather was a bit rough in March and April, a friend in the thickets of Quezon City walked me through it by suggesting ways I could distract myself: view no-brainer comic flicks, view pleasant scenes (virtual or real), eat healthy, get sunshine. She specifically recommended this action: "Go to my views of flowers and elegant, cool living rooms from Provence!" Thank you, G. Now I have bouquets of all-occasion lilies of the valley, lilacs and lavenders to send to other friends who need similar cheering up.

This has been the same advice that I've also given friends who find themselves in some kind of dungeon with hardly a glimmer of light. These gray weeks can go on and on indefinitely as though an internal switch had been turned off and along with it, one's zest for life. It feels like my capacity for joy, even in the littlest things, has been kidnapped and held for a high ransom somewhere far away. By coincidence, an electronic device like the handy mobile phone picks up these signals and goes dead on me and my contacts are completely erased, as though to heighten the sense of isolation. This has happened more than once.

The repetition of the phrase "This, too, shall pass" somehow helps along with a quietly supportive family. Many others have written and said it is not shameful to seek professional help for this condition, no matter that the professionals themselves are engaged in an ongoing debate on re-definitions and exclusions of certain disorders in the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 

At some point, the cloud of mood disorder will lift, almost unexpectedly. This latest experience has shown me that my interest and involvement in life always returns. Again there is joy despite the earlier "havoc". Feel blessed for surviving it once more.

Poster and quote found in the popular section of Pinterest.com

A special child isn’t an accident | Vera Files

A special child isn’t an accident | Vera Files

Thank you, Dino Bob

Any day is a superbly super day for learning.    Image from Google +

Kai holds up a birthday book on grace from Lola Lorna Tirol    Photo by Booboo Babeth

Call it a granny's cop-out when she has run out of activities to keep a toddler occupied to help develop her gross and fine motor skills. But there's nothing like the invitation "Let's read a book!" to entice Kai/Butones to slow down a bit, then get cozy with her Booboo as she piles up the pillows for both of them.

Two weeks ago, this Booboo discovered Kai could already spell out the letters of book titles. She usually selects her book/s of the moment, and it was Dinosaur Bob and His Adventures with the Family Lazardo by William Joyce that special day. I've read this aloud to her more than 10 times.

Suddenly, she pointed to one letter at a time and sounded out clearly the letters "B", "O" and "B". Mightily, I tried to be cool about it and move on to the story of the Lazardos who traveled all over the world in the company of a brontosaurus. 

Later, Kai zeroed in on the names of cable television channels like "F", "O", "X" (reminded me of a scene in the movie You've Got Mail where the kid playing Tom Hanks' step-sibling spells out "fox" for Meg Ryan's benefit) and "T", "L", "C", my favorite lifestyle channel (it's got a lot of food and travel shows). 

Later, it was the title of a bedtime book, Happy Birthday, Moon. The thing with the letter "Y" is Kai confuses it with "Z" so she calls it "zebra."

Last week when she was hospitalized for a gastro-intestinal bug, she read out from her sickbed the words on my sweatshirt, an entire phrase: "Grand Canyon National Park"! I had to text family members in Baguio and Pasig to share the priceless bit of news

As for writing, she still hasn't graduated from lines and semi-circles.

But I'm mighty proud I have somehow, day by day by day, set Kai on the course of reading and writing readiness. I feel grateful to Mesozoic, heroic Bob, the biggest you've ever seen, for making this minor miracle possible.

April loves

Kimi, my eldest daughter, chided me last month, around the time I was quietly bearing a low mood swing but appearing brave and normal on the outside, that I hadn't gotten around to blogging about her own daughter's latest milestone--second birthday. 

I did take pictures of that Saturday in the small open space near the house where the koi and frogs thrive in a pond that was recently widened. Our Baguio friends and neighbors came to celebrate, including violinist Lolo Guido who played the birthday song and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to an awestruck Kai. Mira Abaño also brought her guitar and showed us her strumming and singing chops.

First encounter with a violinist

Luchie Maranan captures singing pre-teener Mira on her phone's camera

The April born and her cake

There's nothing like a Kai to help one have a reason to get up and get going, no matter the compulsion to stay like a big lump covered by a woolen blanket and not face the day while wishing for a longer night. Thank heavens for little girls, indeed!

I think what helped me heal little by little was the company of another young 'un, my niece Bianca L. Susi, and forever young at heart, my sister Suzy, who has been a committed preschool teacher for over 20 years. Suzy is also good at organizing a house, that is, separating the unusables from the reusables and recyclables. Good thing she didn't throw me out during an unproductive (writing-wise) period!

One afternoon, family head Rolly treated us to lunch at Sizzling Plate, the Cariño street branch. Kai colored away while awaiting her order of sizzling bangus (as usual, she ate only the belly portion while I consumed the rest of it). It was her first time to try the restaurant's airy sans rival, and she cleaned up her plate. Same with Bianca and Suzy. Rolly got the hint--a couple of days later, he bought an entire cake that lasted less than 48 hours.

Keeping a toddler occupied at a restaurant

Having bangs trimmed

Now for the hair at the back

Quiet and still at the salon

Finishing touch

That same afternoon, I treated Kai to a haircut. She was a cooperative client, bowed her head forward or sideways, following the hairdresser's instructions. We spent the rest of the day at Burnham Park where Kai enjoyed her first boat ride on the lake. She almost refused to leave the boat after the 30-minute ride around the lake. We went around the Orchidarium to pose among the flora on exhibit and for sale.

Beautiful afternoon on the lake

Sunny dispositions

Someone's thrilled to be in a boat.

Little passenger wants another go.

Bianca's thank-you letter, received last week, summarized how we spent April in Baguio:

Dear Aunt Lizzie,

Thank you for allowing Auntie Su and me to have a more than one-week vacation in your cozy house. I really enjoyed it there, especially eating in Mackenzie's kitchen (my ice cream sandwich), playing with Kai, watching at Mayumi Cinema, the beautiful places we went to and most especially Baguio's fine weather. I also enjoyed our 2-day letter writing. Oh! I loved it whenever we would play jokes with each other in funny ways, specifically The British Accent. HAHA! Okay, I guess that's about all of it. Thank you again!

Love,
Bencky

Aunt Lizzie and Bencky were our codes for one another when we went through our British period (speaking with that accent associated with Queen Elizabeth and Dame Judi Dench).

I miss April, but not my brief low point. 

Till summer of 2014!

Just turned 11 Bianca and her niece by a yellow bamboo grove

Big kiss from Auntie Bencky

Photos by Babeth Lolarga and Bianca Susi

Mommy Lolarga

There have been times when I wanted to return the life she gave me. But not today, especially not today.

Typical Nene Lolarga pose of making mando (taking charge). Taken at an Easter egg hunt in Baguio, April 2012.              Photo courtesy of Ruth Terania

Because I am geographically apart from her this summer, I've grown to appreciate the woman who had born eight of us (me, Embeng, Junic, Dennis, Suzy, Pinky, Eric and Gigi) and lived to see us more or less settled.

I like that she has recently allowed her hair to turn a dignified gray after decades of having it colored a shade of brunette and teased and sprayed it to stay in place, that her grandchildren look up to her and find her admirable in ways I found hard to do throughout most of my adolescence and adulthood, that she checks on her kids out of motherly concern even if we're past the age of 50, even if I admonish her not to "infantilize" us, that she generally has a spring to her step, is healthy and can sometimes challenge the heavens by munching the occasional chicharon, that she still makes the best morcon, and so on.

So today, Mommy, I will cease firing and offer you a heart and gut full of thanks for just being around.

Family matriarch Gliceria "Nene" Lolarga (Mommy Lolarga to her younger friends, including the neighborhood security guards) with her children Suzy, Eric, Gigi and Embeng at the February 2013 nuptials of grandchildren Paolo and Jaja Susi.              Photo courtesy of Ruth Terania

Paula Carolina Malay’s good fight | Vera Files

Paula Carolina Malay’s good fight | Vera Files

A glorious Tchaikovsky by birthday girl Cecile Licad

From Pablo Tariman came this short but happy note that said more than "Good morning!" to me while I remained secluded in my old hilltop hideaway. It made me a tad rueful that I didn't move mountains to be in Makati for this public concert (may malls be more open for this sort of event):

"Cecile Licad shook Glorietta Mall! Standing ovation for her and the ABS CBN Philharmonic under Gerard Salonga after Tchaikovsky No. 1. The audience erupted into more cries of 'More!!' after a hair-raising performance of Buencamino's 'Mayon Fantasy.'"

It more than sealed my determination to work, save up and watch her June 29 concert at the Cultural Center of the Philippines main theater.  Pablo also sent the program for the June concert and how/where to order tickets in advance.


Gerard Salonga leads the ABS CBN Philharmonic in a special concert on June 29,2013 at the CCP main theater with Cecile Licad as soloist. The complete program:

Beethoven Overture To Egmont Op. 84
Saint-Saens Danse Macabre Op. 40
Liszt Totentanz S. 126
Liszt Symphonic Poem No. 2: Tasso, Lamento e Trionfo, G. 96
Liszt Piano Concerto No. 1 in E-flat Major, S. 124

For music lovers abroad, Cecile Licad plays Tchaikovsky No. 1 with the Nashville Symphony on June 21 and flies to Manila June 29 for engagement with ABS CBN Philharmonic under Gerard Salonga.. Link to Nashville Symphony tickets: http://events.tennessean.com/event/detail/441743628/Summer_at_the_Symphony_Tchaikovsky_Extravaganza

Tickets to her June 29 CCP concert now available at the following prices.

Orchestra Center and Left P 2750
Orchestra Right P 2200
Balcony 1 Center P 1100
Balcony 1 Left P 880
Balcony 2 P 550
Licad’s program: Liszt No. 1 and Totentanz for Piano and Orchestra.
Ticket delivery can be arranged.
Call (02) 5763132 *Cell 09065104270

Meanwhile, let me take this occasion of breaking my two-month-long silence in this space to wish our Piyanista ng Bayan, Ms. Cecile Licad, a glorious glory be of a birthday! She gets more interesting and powerful in  her flaming 50s.

As her mentor Rudolf Serkin told her when she said how unsatisfied she was with a performance, "When you are not contented with how you play, that means you will go far." And, girl, are you still going far! The whole nation is mighty proud of you!

String quartet and voice concerts in April