Wallflower at a party

"It’s been a long year and it’s gone by in a flash…If you feel what I mean. Endless yet fleeting. Is it just me? I don’t think so." ~ Jane Fonda in her blog

Bebeth Timbol's camera caught me glum and unsmiling at The Peninsula Manila's celebration of "35 Years of Christmas Concert at the Pen." There was no reason to be the wallflower at the orgy, to quote the title of an early Nora Ephron book. It was supposed to be a joyous occasion.

I was in mourning for a friend who had just died and at the back of my talkative head, there was a voice nagging me about financial concerns (being a freelancer, I always have trouble collecting payables at the end of the year, but obligations had to be met).

Trust Mariano Garchitorena, the Pen's affable and indefatigable PR guy and Garch to all, to shoo such thoughts away. Even if my sister Ellen Suzanne D. Lolarga and I reserved our concert seats just a day before the show, there was space created by him for us. But he forewarned us to come early before the 5 p.m. start of the program to ensure we didn't lose those precious seats.

We did at 3 p.m. As we alighted our Grab car, who should I run into but Cecile Licad about to check in at The Pen? Here's the thing about her. Her smile was so contagious that I couldn't help but put on one on my unmade-up, gloom and doom face.

We chatted a bit, and I introduced my kid sister Suzy to her. She extended her hand enthusiastically and cried, "Oh! Your sister! Hello!" Then we went inside after having our bags checked by the security guards. She queued up quietly at the front desk, amazing my sister who thought a VIP like this world-class pianist should be spared lining up.

Suzy and I repaired to the Pen's Escolta restaurant for a late lunch. She had a humongous turkey sandwich which she thought was light, I had the reliable pancit luglug with a can of cold Coke. Soon I was feeling lighter and ready for the afternoon ahead.

When the University of Santo Tomas Singers, with tenor Arman Ferrer, sang "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's Symphony No. 9, I realized that the certain sadness would be there, but it would write "finis" one day soon.

I let myself be carried away by other voices like those of guest soloist Christine Allado who sang, among others, "Never Enough" from the film The Greatest Showman (our New Year theme song, Joseph Uy?) and "Jingle Bells."

How could I remain the wallflower the rest of that evening that swept past me as I downed one flute glass of Moet & Chandon champagne after another.

Thank you, Garch, thank you, The Pen, for upholding a beloved tradition. May happiness grab us in unexpected places and moments in this young year of 2019!