Before you're not little anymore

There's this saying that I find applicable to our Not So Wee One Anymore, our grandchild Kai, and her relatively new dog, the moxie puppy Nutmeg: "Let me love you a little more before you're not little anymore." Every time I visit family in Baguio, I find my husband Rolly has grown more gray hair--the inevitable "trophy" of old age--and I don't think it's from too much stress. He loves what he's doing whether newspapering, leisure reading or gardening. Kai has "shark teeth"--two permanent teeth emerging behind her lower front teeth while Nutmeg, in his playfulness, is running up and down the house and has all of us in a tizzy. Just wonderful to come home to. Photo by Kimi Fernandez

Dying to Tell You

"Dying to Tell You," acrylic on canvas paper, 12" x 18", 2016.

Dear Me,

I just want to assure you that dry periods in painting or any kind of creative work are the old normal so you shouldn't fret too much when the Muse or the Holy Spirit seems to be absent in your life.

You're back to painting your signature still lifes after a brief foray in including the handiwork of your grandchild in your paintings--her doodles, her cutouts, her you-name-it, she's the fearless art-maker in the family. She'll have her moment to shine again. Right now, she's too focused on raising and disciplining a puppy named after a Christmas spice, nutmeg.

Kai with Nutmeg the moxie (a mix of the breeds Maltese and dachshund)Photo by Kimi Fernandez

Some of your acrylic paints in tubes have hardened. Teacher Norman Chow advised that these should be massaged when they're not being constantly used. Who knows? In the course of massaging the paint tubes, inspiration will come.

That's why you should always give yourself a second and third chance before feeling that you've thoroughly lost It already, It to include the compulsion to write and blog about life's seemingly little events. For you do lead an event-ful life. The uninspired moments are just telling you to take a break, to mourn for what was lost, then to get over the sniffling and take up the brush, computer keyboard or pen.

"Foursome," acrylic on canvas paper, 12" x 18", 2016.

Always with you,
Babeth

Feeding the inner life through delaying tactics

"Be a good steward of your gifts. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be by yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hook. Work regular hours." - Jane Kenyon in her piece entitled "Everything I Know About Writing Poetry"

The thing with working from home is you tend to work unconventional hours. Either you go overboard with overtime or you take frequent breaks, including midday snooze and snacks every two hours, which are nothing more than exercises in procrastination.

Not sold on a haircut. Photo by Kimi Fernandez

That was how I one day found myself accompanying the visiting grandchild to the mall for a haircut. Afraid to lose her natural curls that has earned her all sorts of endearing names from the family, she whined all throughout the haircut and was only appeased by a lollipop. When you're in a mall, you get caught up with other activities, not just duties like bringing a child with unruly hair to a tot salon. There's a devil of a phone bill to settle and unable to cough up enough cash, I buy a new SIM and transfer all contacts to a new number and get on a prepaid phone mode. Hay naku!

Next exercise in procrastination was rationalized this way--I need books for professional and personal growth. Besides, I'm not buying them (I don't even have enough to sustain a cell phone without "donations" from family members). The husband is treating me without saying so. One of the things I'm most grateful for is a husband who loves books with a passion and who doesn't mind crossing several provinces and cities for book buys. He's returning to Baguio several kilos heavier from the weight of his purchases.

I'm happy about my exercise in self-control. My tote bag carried only seven new books. I have a magic seven, all wisely selected, to go through. The seventh one is actually a repeat reading after I first read it back in high school (To Kill a Mockingbird before breaking open the pages of Harper Lee's now controversial, recently discovered and published novel Go Set a Watchman). Rolly did a very Camelot-ish thing: he took me to the (Manila International Book) Fair. Thank you.

And now for quiet time again while the grandchild is out enjoying a swim with her mother, grandaunts and cousins, and husband is en route to another city, choosing Fast Food Fiction Delivery (edited by Noelle Q. de Jesus and Mookie Katigbak-Lacuesta) as his bus reading fare.

I am by myself, Ms. Kenyon, and will return to working on another person's manuscript in a bit. A just as blessed weekend to all!

Youngest food Instagrammer in Northern Philippines

"Apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?" - Harold Pinter

So do I proceed to jump into and explore the unknown and realize more strengths or weaknesses in myself? Or do I stay put, keep still in what's popularly known as one's "comfort zone", the known? Either way, I will be taking risks.

I like risky ventures.

But certain times I also like the balance provided by the known on days when I'm alone and sick to my stomach in the house in the lowlands. Nothing supplies that balancing factor better than this photo shared by my oldest daughter Kimi. It's The Wee One playing food Instagrammer on one of the family's eat-out days.

Hello Kai, formerly Butones. Your Booboo is zipping back to your loving arms in a few more days. Hurry Thursday! I need Kai's sunshine in my life again!

Who else but a mother can take the cutest photo of her child? All because Kai's Mamay is the most familiar with the face's structure and best angles. Photo by Kimi Fernandez

Joy of the child and of the poet

The Wee One and her Booboo by the village gate's Christmas display Photo by Kimi Fernandez

"And the true realism is that of the poets: to find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss all." - Robert Louis Stevenson

Today's entry will be brief so I can return to merry-making, including one-on-one communicating with those I forgot in my Christmas e-list. Every time the adults bring The Wee One (Kai, formerly Butones) to a Christmas get-together, her excitement is contagious. Last night, en route to a Christmas Eve dinner, she pointed out the lights sparkling many homes and establishments along the highway and narrow roads. She gushed, "How pretty! How twinkly!"

Yes, Christmas is for children. After all it is Baby Jesus's birthday. Kai even remembered to mention that this morning. May the remaining days of 2014 continue to be merry and bright. If you must drink, do it responsibly. This is Kai's grandmother speaking.

Just being you-self

"Don’t try to be something you’re not." - advice from many women in history

It's strange how after trying on a lot of "clothes" in hopes that something would make a perfect fit (if clothes were to stand for the identities you wanna be known for or remembered by), you find you only need to be you.

And someone up there truly loves you for what you were, what you have become, what you are today. That Someone finds you actually pleasing and appealing. That assurance is empowering so no matter what others think of you, say about, do to or against you, you end up putting on a smile like this gurl.

Photo by Kimi Fernandez

Beware: Sharp teeth

This grandmother is happy that the physical development of Kai/Butones is on schedule. She has grown almost a complete set of teeth that she can bite, chew, masticate well with at a time when her elders are having problems with theirs due to aging and its way of staining and loosening our chompers. Here she flashes a smile that seems to copy that of one of her favorite book creatures: the T Rex. Photo by Kimi Fernandez