We're Gonna Have to Get a Divorce

a takeoff from the final scene of "Two for the Road"

he always said,
when he'd make me
sit in front of his PC,
half kidding,
half truthful,
that if we were divorced
we'd get along better

we could even work together,
for heaven's sake,
i could be paid a decent wage
& he'd feel the work he loves
would be in good hands

meanwhile, as i filled in
for him, he could take
those long walks to town
looking for that perfect
piece of crockery
to enrich his collection

then he'd come by me
when the work was done
& we'd share dinner,
go dutch in fact,
enjoy a bottle of wine

& after talking shop
till the words ran dry
he could drive me
to wherever i call home
at the moment

but to do all that
we're gonna have
to get a divorce

--Babeth Lolarga

From the Manolita D. Pacquiao Files

“Happy birthday! Words and paint must flow.”—Edel Garcellano, June 24, 2009.

“Happy birthday to my buddy, artist and survivor of good wifemanship.”—Gilda Cordero Fernando, June 24, 2009.

“Happy reading! May the words paint rainbows on jagged skies!”—Chato Garcellano, June 26, 2009.


Because my middle initial is “D,”
I’ve come to define it as shorthand for “defiant.”

My middle name is not “S,” which in common language is
Short for subservient spouse or even
Submissive silently suffering mater dolorosa, succor of succors.

I will not stand for this,
Your controlling my last bit of space, cyber-highway,
My sole means of unleashing the cry of a soul.

Why do men have control issues?
And why are women mistresses of
The twin arts of subversion & escape?

I sit before this silver-haired man,
Inquire if he has had his fill of fruit,
Coffee & congee in a café called Palm Court
Somewhere in Manila.

I inquire with studied but sincere concern,
Do you have enough food in your luggage
To tide you over for the long six-hour trip
Back to your home?

Long ago, I have stopped referring to any physical space as home.
Home to me is my friends’ hearts,
Wherever I am welcome & given space
To fashion what to others are unfashionable, unspeakable thoughts.

Thoughts like why must a wife/mother
Sit in stunned silence while accused of sins uncommitted
Or not even imagined,
Accused of malicious acts
When all she did was follow her bliss like the gurus said she must do?

So tell them,
I tell this silver-haired fellow,
Tell your outraged relatives that
You wedded for worse and worse
This madwoman beyond your control.

That should absolve you of all blame
For as long as we both shall live.

With this madwoman in your attic
You are at the very least
Assured of an interesting life
To balance the blandness of every day.

So shall we shake on that again?
And live to fight and fight to live another day?

--Babeth Lolarga

first published in Philippine Graphic, 2009
photo of movie poster for "Two for the Road" from the World Wide Web

My horde of Audrey Hepburn quotes

New Year's resolutions are another one of those things that were called in the '70s "exercises in futility." By the eighth of January, I'd have forgotten what I drew up on my list--it always has to do with diet, exercise, keeping my weight down.

Well, Ms. Hepburn never had to worry about her weight or spend too much time thinking of the word "diet", but she still managed to make a contribution to the world because she applied certain beliefs about humanity in her life, primarily giving people a chance.

A simple feel-good act I do to banish the blues and the reds is just to scroll through an album of Audrey Hepburn pictures, turn on "Two for the Road" or "Moon River," and I'm okay, at least temporarily. No need to stand outside Tiffany's.

Lately, I've collected some choice quotes from the late Unicef ambassador who taught the screen world that slim and smart add up to sexy.