“Happy birthday to my buddy, artist and survivor of good wifemanship.”—Gilda Cordero Fernando, June 24, 2009.
“Happy reading! May the words paint rainbows on jagged skies!”—Chato Garcellano, June 26, 2009.
Because my middle initial is “D,”
I’ve come to define it as shorthand for “defiant.”
My middle name is not “S,” which in common language is
Short for subservient spouse or even
Submissive silently suffering mater dolorosa, succor of succors.
I will not stand for this,
Your controlling my last bit of space, cyber-highway,
My sole means of unleashing the cry of a soul.
Why do men have control issues?
And why are women mistresses of
The twin arts of subversion & escape?
I sit before this silver-haired man,
Inquire if he has had his fill of fruit,
Coffee & congee in a café called Palm Court
Somewhere in Manila.
I inquire with studied but sincere concern,
Do you have enough food in your luggage
To tide you over for the long six-hour trip
Back to your home?
Long ago, I have stopped referring to any physical space as home.
Home to me is my friends’ hearts,
Wherever I am welcome & given space
To fashion what to others are unfashionable, unspeakable thoughts.
Thoughts like why must a wife/mother
Sit in stunned silence while accused of sins uncommitted
Or not even imagined,
Accused of malicious acts
When all she did was follow her bliss like the gurus said she must do?
So tell them,
I tell this silver-haired fellow,
Tell your outraged relatives that
You wedded for worse and worse
This madwoman beyond your control.
That should absolve you of all blame
For as long as we both shall live.
With this madwoman in your attic
You are at the very least
Assured of an interesting life
To balance the blandness of every day.
So shall we shake on that again?
And live to fight and fight to live another day?
--Babeth Lolarga
first published in Philippine Graphic, 2009
photo of movie poster for "Two for the Road" from the World Wide Web
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