In the absence of family

The Lolargas and Fernandezes are Baguio migrants, the former having settled here in the early '60s, the latter in 1992 to be exact. But my cousins, with whom we used to live in the retirement house of my grandmother (ever since sold), have moved to the sprawling Metro Manila or abroad, leaving me the sole Lolarga in the city.

When Rolly Fernandez (second from left), our family breadwinner, started teaching at the UP Baguio, we had to sell a number of artworks so we could get by from day to day on his assistant professor's salary. It wasn't until he accepted the post of bureau chief of Philippine Daily Inquirer Northern and Central Luzon in '93 did we loosen our belts a bit and breathe a little easier.

Rolly and I chose to remember one Sunday who was with us all throughout a financially shaky start in a new city where our kids went to public school. That was one reason for hosting a small reunion of friends, chief of them two retired but still intellectually active professors, Del Tolentino and Ben Tapang (bookending the group shot). How the two get by without social media accounts you tell me!

Tita Eppie Blanco (in red) is another one who stubbornly rejects Facebook and prefers to engage on socio-political issues on a deeply personal level. She has an iconic portrait of Chief Justice (she still is ours) Lourdes Sereno hugging her.

Because Eppie had long served Philippine Airlines' ground crew she has a colorful knowledge of the who's who of Baguio, like social chroniclers George Sison or Maurice Arcache. Only better--she dealt with these people personally, and they remain her contacts.

Rolly and I love her buko sinigang, which she ladles in bowls while talking a mean streak about the President the country doesn't deserve and the voter education needed to make the small steps to real change possible. She has voting age grandchildren, and like her, they're voting straight Liberal Party.

Speaking of PAL, Maria Klaridelle A Reyes (with son Marco on her lap) shuttles between wherever the airlines flies her as an attendant and Baguio so visits to our city are definitely precious. She is my eldest daughter Kimi Fernandez's friend from their Baguio City National Science High School years. Marco and my grandchild Kai are playmates whenever the gap in their years is bridgeable.

To my left is another high school pal of Kimi's, Agnes, pregnant with her first baby and the latest would-be mascot of their play group. I bless Kimi who added (bought, not cooked) the soft lengua to the festive fare that included my chicken potato salad and longganisa spaghetti, Rolly's salad and ribs (bought them himself), Eppie's spicy sausages and chicken pastel.

Junley Lorenzana Lazaga brought wife Janine and children Inigo and Joaquin. The toddler Aquin is off camera playing with Rolly's collection of bells or sneaking sips from his father's bottle of beer.

I grew up in a large clan complete with a great grandmother, a grandmother, assorted uncles and aunts, multi generations of first and second cousins that met at Col. Ernesto and Dr. Erlinda Lolarga's home every Christmas. The tradition fell away as the old guard died and the new one joined the Filipino diaspora to North America.

In the absence of family, I still have these.

Photo by Junley

Girlfriends' night

I've traveled miles to attend First Draft meetings, and even arrived once from an overseas trip, woozy from jet lag but still able to listen to my wise elders with some mindfulness.

Karina Bolasco and I are the "babies" in this group of women who write and like to share their works by reading them aloud for critique. I write "babies" because after me, the next lady is in her mid-60s. The eldest is forever 84.

We used to meet six times a year, but that petered out when each got involved in this or that. But the raison d'être for a group like this has been met--we're all engaged in and committed to writing. And we write not for livelihood reasons alone. To use another friend's term, writing has become a "lovelihood".

Rita Ledesma had been our gracious Christmas host for many years. December is when she brings out her best china, the best cuisine and desserts that she has tasted and now wants to share this delight with us. We exchange gifts (an option) and have a non-negotiable bunutan or mini raffle. This year we missed the company of Mariel Francisco, Melinda de Jesus and Lorna Kalaw Tirol, all fulfilling family duties. I know there's a next time with them.

If my pictures are fuzzy, maybe it's because I look at these women through the eyes of love.

Karina Bolasco and Gilda Cordero Fernando

Chit Roces Santos, Edna Manlapaz and Fe Arriola

Fe and Rita Ledesma

The comfort of women

These pre-Typhoon Sendong Christmas party photos just arrived in my inbox this evening. Suddenly, that eighth of December, end-of-the-year get-together of women friends who write and call themselves members of First Draft, has an innocent quality.

Here we look not yet harassed and put upon by holiday obligations and yearend work and family commitments that have to be accommodated in a month where one's calendar fills up so quickly.

Here we are before 'Sendong' got us into a cautiously celebratory mode of thinking and doing.

Love the reflection of glassware on Fe's chin. That's Rita, host of our annual Christmas dinner, with beaming Edna beside her.

We can't all fit in so the designated photographer takes shots of the group two or three women at a time around a table with a glorious setting of a dozen white orchids.

BFFs Mariel and Gilda

Remember that pop song from the '60s: "Si Aida, si Lorna at si Fe?" Well, our version is for this foursome (from left): "Si Rita, si Edna, si Lorna at si Melinda."

Capping the evening is this final group shot after an afternoon spent catching up, exchanging gifts, reading works aloud (including a funny essay by a New Yorker writer we all admire, E.B. White) and trying two kinds of dessert, with and without sugar following a meatless, save for chicken, supper.

God bless us, everyone!