Showing posts with label Nieves B. Epistola. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nieves B. Epistola. Show all posts

Monday, May 11, 2015

That I be made worthy of the life my mother, and other mothers, gave me

Mommy Photo by her second-born child Evelyn Marie L. Trinidad

Ninang Jane, who my sister calls the family's Audrey Hepburn, and daughter Tina

Mom and Ninang Andeng at the opening of the blogger's solo show of paintings "Bling Blings and Lucky Me" in 2010. As mom's OB-Gyn, Dr. Andrea Enrile Dimayuga saw my seven siblings and me grow from babyhood to adults. We're still text mates. Photo by Anna Leah Sarabia

Graceful convalescent Nieves Benito Epistola or Mrs. E, outstanding literary educator and author of the posthumously published On Playing the Emperor's Game and Other Poems (University of the Philippines Press), in recovery after surgery at the Philippine General Hospital, is shown with a visitor. Despite the thorough health clearance she received from the doctors, she died in September 2002, leaving generations of students bereft.

There are many prayers, memorized ones, imprinted by those 13 years--from nursery to senior high--spent at St. Paul College of Quezon City. Paulinians are Pollyannas through and through. (Mom once said she sent most of her daughters to SPCQC primarily because it was also the alma mater of her eldest and favorite niece Jane Pearl Server who became my godmother when she was barely 12 or 13. She eventually married and became Jane Banzhaf, then left the world too soon in 2008)

Our school anthem "Hark, Daughters of the great St. Paul" I can still sing without missing a line and a beat, unlike UP Naming Mahal where I falter in many parts. Perhaps it was the almost weekly singing of it, in Mass, at convocations and other official functions at the old social hall. During the two homecomings I attended as a silver jubilarian and ruby-larian, my classmates and I sang it the glorious, gorgeous anthem with gusto along with the other alumni, faculty and St. Paul de Chartres nuns.

A "Hail Mary" is handy for hail-Mary situations when you live life on a slight wing and a whispered prayer. But what I loved about the Holy Rosary in my childhood-youth is the poetry in The Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary where all of Mary's titles are recited, and there's a chorus of "Pray for us" for every title declared.

Last two memorable times I heard these recited were after the deaths of two women--at the tradition called pa-siyam, or ninth day (or was it the 40th day? memory has become treacherous) after death. It was Pete Daroy, another guy who left too soon, who pointed out after the prayers were done how beautiful were the exalted titles of Mary.

Holy Mother of God,
Holy Virgin of virgins
Mother of Christ
Mother of divine grace
Mother most pure
Mother most chaste
Mother inviolate
Mother undefiled
Mother most amiable
Mother most admirable
Mother of good counsel
Mother of our Creator
Mother of our Savior
Virgin most prudent
Virgin most venerable
Virgin most renowned
Virgin most powerful
Virgin most merciful
Virgin most faithful
Mirror of justice
Seat of wisdom
Cause of our joy
Spiritual vessel
Vessel of honor
Singular vessel of devotion
Mystical rose
Tower of David
Tower of ivory
House of gold
Ark of the Covenant
Gate of Heaven
Morning star
Health of the sick
Refuge of sinners
Comforter of the afflicted
Help of Christians
Queen of Angels
Queen of Patriarchs
Queen of Prophets
Queen of Apostles
Queen of Martyrs
Queen of Confessors
Queen of Virgins
Queen of all Saints
Queen conceived without original sin
Queen assumed into heaven
Queen of the most holy Rosary
Queen of Peace


Yesterday, Mother's Day, many parts of Baguio, except the central business district, lost power due to an accident somewhere along Bokawkan Road. So it was explained to us when we reported the brownout that turned into a blackout until power resumed at almost midnight. Part of my drafts for many things, this blog included, got lost before I could press Control "Save."

So early today, I spent a good time reconstructing some letters, including this letter to the world, a belated tribute to my biological mother, Gliceria "Nene" Lolarga, and my godmothers, among them, Jane Pearl Server-Banzhaf, Andrea Enrile-Dimayuga and Nieves B. Epistola. I've had many other mothers, but now that I'm closer to becoming a senior citizen, it's time I stopped the search for other maternal figures and dive fully into the matrix that Mary had set as standard. It's tough going, but the important thing is to try. Even if one fails gloriously at it, "what matters most," as another song goes, "is that we love at all."

Hail Mothers!

Following is a gallery of mothers in my life, all important in my becoming. I spent dawn of Mother's Day sweeping through my photo files for these pictures. I had no intention of ignoring the other moms who people my life on account of difficulty in image retrieval.

Kai, formerly Butones, when she was still a really wee one with her Mamay Kimi

My newest niece Jaja Jorge Susi (standing, second from left) with husband Paolo and infant son Jared. Next to her is my niece and goddaughter Marga with her daughter Max (in purple), Kimi with Kai before her, and my youngest girl Ida. Holding hands with Max is her Tita Bianca. Photo by Junic Lolarga

Living National Treasure (by popular opinion rather than official dicta) Ligaya Fernando Amilbangsa, a nanay to many dancers. She's the one behind the revival of the dance form pangalay. She did extensive research and documentation of our Sulu archipelago's culture. Photo courtesy of Nanette Matilac

Some Baguio mamas and mamitas I know seen a year ago in June at a Baguio Writers Group kulitan or manuscript workshop: Leonisa "Leonie" Bautista, co-author (with Adelaida Lim) of A Matter of Taste: The Culinary Memoirs of Jean McGarvin de Vera, Merci Javier Dulawan, BWG treasurer and co-author of the Maryknoll Ecological Sanctuary book Indigenous Earth Wisdom: A Documentation of the Cosmologies of the Indigenous Peoples of the Cordillera (along with Judy CariƱo Fangloy, Vicky Macay, Maria Elena Pegpala and Lucia Ruiz), and Toottee Chanco Pacis, businesswoman and author of Look Ma! I Can Cook, one of the first Anvil cookbooks, now out of print. Photo by Babeth Lolarga

Two more Baguio-based mamas, Marie Therese Jison (left) and Laarni Ilagan have raised sons with special needs. Therese's JJ, now going on 45, was my classmate under art tutor Norman Chow. Laarni's boys, Sam-ang and Talek, were once my students at a children's creative writing workshop at the UP Baguio's Summer Arts Festival. (I remember that summer distinctly because Session Road was closed on Earth Day so that the public could draw and write odes to Mama Nature. That summer I also had students uniquely named River and Sky.) Photo by Babeth Lolarga

For conversations about life and its meaning, literature, the ways of women and men, music and musicians, I enjoy the company of Pablo Tariman (who is both grandfather and Tatay-Nanay to grandson Emman), Anna Leah, whose grandkids call her "Inana", and occasionally Cecile who has this deep, full-throated laughter. It's the pianist's 53rd birthday today. Here they're seen at Cecile's favorite Pinoy restaurant hangout when she's in Manila: Aristocrat on Roxas Blvd. Photo by Babeth Lolarga

Ahhh, the Araos women, Liwa, Waya and their mother Melen, in the glow of the old Cafe Juanita's lights. Incomparable women they are with a zest for life and love and the delicious food that bridges life and love! Photo by Anna Leah Sarabia

Then breastfeeding mom Silahis Ocampo-Peckley glows while she holds second son Araw. Her church wedding in Bontoc was the biggest nuptial I've ever attended. Her husband Danny's family fed the entire community in and out of a gymnasium during the luncheon reception. Unforgettable for me because I stood as ninang and never was I more conscious of what I wore and how I walked. Looking back, I didn't even march down the aisle during my own wedding, even if the priest's assistant laid out the red carpet for me. Photo by Anna Leah Sarabia

I cannot write or say the word "breastfeeding" without recalling Mercy Lactao Fabros, my Lamaze teacher who continues to be a reproductive health/women's right activist. Here she's with her granddaughter Alon at the old Kiss the Cook Gourmet. Mercy also became my daughter Kimi's Lamaze teacher so she also calls our Kai her apo. Photo by Anna Leah Sarabia

That's Liwa again with Evelyn R. San Buenaventura, former Commission on Audit commissioner, civic leader and mother not just to her children but to a community of indigenous peoples, the Aetas of Barangay Bayanbayanan in Bataan. Waya Araos Wijangco introduced me to her, and we've stayed in touch. The lesson I learned from Evelyn is the more you give of your time, especially Time, and resources, the richer you are, the more fulfilled your life becomes as it continues to unfold.

That's small-but-terrible (in a good way) soprano Myramae Meneses with her teacher Camille Lopez Molina, big mama to the Viva Voce singers. Camille, mother to two girls and a son as darling as mocha java, has seen to the personal and career growth of at least 10 singers in her fold. As a group, they're coming up to Baguio in less than two weeks to do a matinee concert on "Evolution of OPM" at 2 p.m. May 23 at the University of Baguio Centennial Hall, then sing at the anticipated Mass at 5 p.m. at the St. Joseph the Worker Church at Pacdal Circle. On May 24 Viva Voce prepares to sing Puccini's operatic love tale La Boheme (with a Baguio setting instead of Paris' Latin Quarter) in a concert at 8:15 p.m. Hill Station inside Casa Vallejo. Myramae reprises the role of Musetta. Photo by Babeth Lolarga

I like this picture of the 2013 Maningning Miclat night of poetry and music. That's direk Jerry Respeto asking the people involved in the program, including that year's poetry competition winners and two National Artists, to compress for a group picture. Others in the photo include mamas Fe B. Mangahas, Julie Lluch, Banaue Miclat Janssen carrying son Raja, Mary Anne Espina, the Mama Mary of the piano, and Alma Cruz Miclat. Photo by Babeth Lolarga

They must've been sisters in a past life. Gilda Cordero Fernando is not just Mommy to four children but a wise elder and kalog friend to over three generations of visual artists, writers, stage and film directors, historians, costume and production designers, etc. By working with the most creative and innovative collaborators, she conceived and saw the fruition of book and stage productions that were always ahead of their time. Thus did she make it easier for others to follow. Wise woman Mariel Francisco's advocacy for health and total wellness (a better integration of mind, body and spirit) is also a door opener for many. Photo by Anna Leah Sarabia

These are the ladies who lunch on birthdays and other special occasions and who occasionally go out of town (here we're caught having coffee or hot choco at Antonio's in Tagaytay). They are all mothers, even the bachelorettes in the group (clockwise): bandana girl, Corito Llamas, founding editor of Food Magazine, Angge Goloy, mom to my pen pal Giselle, Chato Garcellano, best editor and heart adviser I had the privilege of working with and mom to teacher Rhissa and artist Lyra, and Ester Dipasupil, stand-in mom for the late Sonia Barros Dipasupil's children Kiko, Miranda and Leon.

Back to Mommy Lolarga, greatly blessed to see her three great grandchildren Max, Jared and Kai Photo by Gigi Lolarga

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Staying hungry and foolish for life

The title of today's blog is inspired by a RebelleSociety.com article, written by Shavawn M. Berry, on taking a fool's leap into the world.

Leaps of faith have been what my late teacher Nieves B. Epistola called the "style markers" of my life. Especially as far as a checkered employment career is concerned. Especially as I am about to arrive at the big six zero that will give me certain privileges as a senior citizen, but I never know what will happen within the span of a day, no matter how well laid out my plans are.

It's really up to some divine source and my own determination to begin something (whether an article, a poem, a painting, volunteer work) and end it either with a flourish, a deafening slam of the door or a gentle tap of a computer key. This progressive learning of how to live from moment to moment lets me stay hungry (not entirely the physical pangs of hunger) and stay foolish. The fool is me, the one who even in almost late adulthood chooses to look at the world like a child.

One time a former editor told me how the longest service record she ever had in a publication was five years. Another former boss, also with a journalism background, said media life is one of musical chairs. But it was the tone with which they said what they said that grabbed me. There was no tinge of regret.

And so is the living of my life...on a wing and a prayer but with dignified desperation because I know that at the end of it, at the closing of a chapter, perhaps, perhaps and maybe I shall be rewarded with the face of He/She I call my God.

Meanwhile, let me close this latest outburst of kinder angst with some lines of a poem shared by a friend this morning. He said this Seamus Heaney poem was voted in Ireland as the best-loved poem written in the past 100 years, It's about a quiet moment when he and his mother peeled potatoes: "I remember her head bent towards my head, / Her breath in mine, our fluent dipping knives -- / Never closer the whole rest of our lives."

I am suddenly missing my lola who helped make my young happy Baguio memories possible, Dad whose silence was always "more than words", Mrs. Epistola who showed both her cerebral and emotional sides when there was just the two of us. They're gone from this world, but Mom is still around although I'm far away from her now. She has always been that pillar of strength made of the finest steel in our family. I wish her more years.




Self-portraits with enlarging shadows. Shot in Baguio, 2014.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Aspiration: To Achieve Cat-like Insouciance

Victoria Rico Costina, my friend who has acquired the shibboleth of "Cat Woman of Baguio" and a literature professor at the UP Baguio, will launch her book Those Who Love Cats, essays, profiles, reviews and basic cat care tips for Filipino homes (she's too modest to claim it as her autobiography) on March 4 at the university's student alumni center on Gov. Pack Road. The slim volume (82 pages) will soon be available at Baguio book shops and at National Bookstore branches. Coinciding with her book launch, Vickie invited UP Diliman journalism alumna Angie Salanio to exhibit her watercolors of cats at the same venue.

Vickie asked me to introduce  her book with some urgency while I was holidaying with family in the US. I responded with equal urgency, but then she had some difficulty finding a welcoming publisher until she took matters into her own hands. Recently, she asked me to act as program emcee. I've begged off from that duty.  But I'm returning the honor by reproducing the intro as my contribution to the book's marketing.

I'm especially proud to be connected to the book. Firstly, it's a Baguio production through and through--from the writing to the illustrations (by my fine arts classmate Czarina Calinawagan and fellow visual artist Rishab) to the layout and design by Frederick Pedragosa to photography by Vickie's husband Ruel and printing. Secondly, like I wrote in the intro, this book may be some kind of first in Philippine publishing. Thirdly and more importantly, it marks Vickie's coming out as a writer. So enough of false modesty, Vickie. Please follow up this book with a second one. Congratulations and much affection!

_________________________________________

Do cats procrastinate and prevaricate? Put off things for later at the rate that I do and delude myself that nothing is as important as prioritizing de-stressing for health’s sake?

Author Victoria Rico Costina, in what must be the first book of its kind in the Philippines, described cats as pleasure-loving creatures. If I have a choice, I would like to be described that way—a pleasure-seeking adult who has never quite grown up. One time Vickie did call me a “lady of leisure,” but the image that entered my mind was of a matron with bejeweled fingers playing endless rounds of mahjongg with amigas.

I was raised with a killer combination of Catholic guilt and Protestant work ethic so I’m not quite there in the cat summit of perpetual pleasure seeking. I aspire to days of lazing on the bed, curled under a comforter on another foggy Baguio morning. I’d rise when I want to, comfort myself with a glass of milk, pad around softly in the house in my nightgown, go back to bed and siesta as much as I want. Then I’d stretch again, go down to the fridge, help myself to more cold milk, sniff around the bookshelf.

Come to think of it, I’ve been leading a cat’s life of some sort on the day I officially declared myself graduated from the workaday world. So much for guilt and working hard for the money.

I had a black and white cat in my youth. I called him Omar after the Egyptian actor. My kid sister Gigi never forgot how I got her to cradle him like a baby so I could take a picture of her in her sando and shorts. She never forgot the experience—she must have been less that six at that time. I was teaching myself to take a different kind of portrait with my new instamatic camera. I didn’t want anything posed so I instructed her to hold Omar the way a mother would. He would have none of it. For posterity, the photo captured Gigi flinching in pain as Omar clawed her. Perhaps this is why Gigi would rather care for mini pugs and pinschers and has had nothing to do with cats to this day.

Omar was admirably independent. I have no recollection of minding him, except for the time he came down with conjunctivitis. My cousin, a vet, advised me to put ointment on his eyes. By then I was working. From the office, I’d call home and instruct the helper in detail how to apply the ointment. My officemate overheard me and was smiling when I put down the phone. The smile read: “All that for a cat?”

Indeed, that can be said of Vickie’s book. I hope that it’ll be the first of many on singular loves.

To care this much for God’s small creatures, to allow them to take over her life almost to the exclusion of everyone else, affirms her humanity. She reminds me of another cat lover, Nieves Benito Epistola, also a professor of English and literature who reserved her gentlest cooing when she was caressing the head of one of dozens of cats that had the run of her house and garden.

Like Vickie, Nieves always used her cats for a reason for declining an invitation, even if it was a year in Greece with Anton Juan.

The Garcellanos of Kamuning, Quezon City, are in Vickie’s league. They count Kayenne as a family member. Whenever I drop by their place, I try to remember the “catiquette” observed there, one of which is not to talk about the cat when he is present in the room. Kayenne senses when he is the subject of the conversation. Kayenne and his deceased brother Bugsy are immortalized in Edel Garcellano’s poetry in the same way F. Puss the cat “nanny” is in Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast.

“The cat world has a lot to teach us,” Nieves once said in a professorial tone.

I wonder sometimes if the cats in Vickie’s life observe her as keenly as she does them. Like F. Puss, they may be her sitters and she the baby they protect.

Nov. 15, 2009
Torrance City, California

 Cover of book reproduced from philstar.net

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

On World Teachers' Day, Mrs. E Once Again


Dedicated to the committed teachers in my family:

Rolly & Ida Fernandez, Eileen & Suzy Lolarga & Auntie Linda


"Hey, Teach, your hips are too wide!"--student Junald to Teacher Babeth

I considered myself a successful teacher on some level when my high school student in a weekly elective on creative writing came up to me recently after I laid my bag down on the classroom table and said that to my face with no inhibition. In the Catholic school where I grew up, he would've been called impertinent and sent to the guidance counselor's office.

I came into teaching rather late in life--at age 55. I held back for many years, despite worthy offers, because I held the profession in high esteem that I felt I had to accumulate decades of experience in my field of specialization and get almost browbeaten by life before I had the "K" or right to stand in front of a roomful of students. Yes, there were the summer workshops and weekend writing seminars I conducted but not the everyday commitment that real teaching required. At those workshops, I insisted on being addressed "Tita", not by any honorific like "Ma'am" or "Teacher."

The lessons learned from Nieves Benito Epistola or Mrs. E, the late professor emeritus of the University of the Philippines Diliman, have truly been internalized in midlife. She was genuinely interested in what her students were doing and talking about. In conversations, she would use the hip expression in current use.

Once, after a heavy lunch, she hailed a cab, then turned to me once we were inside, "Let's smoke in my office and watch the smoke rings come out of our mouth!" This was decades before the UP campus became a no-smoking zone.

Or, when a new shopping center ("mall" wasn't the common term then) went up, she'd eagerly invite me to "case the joint."

When her colleague and friend Dolores Stephens Feria was released from prison and returned to the university after years spent underground, she told Mrs. E, "Looking around, everyone has grown old and gray, except you, Nieves." That same day, Mrs. E rushed to Cubao and bought a pair of denim jeans.

She enlarged my world, she and husband SV bringing me to art exhibitions, foreign film festivals, Palanca Awards Night, concert halls, an orchid show at UP Los BaƱos and introducing me to a Who's Who in the arts and culture arena. She took it upon herself to gather my sheaf of poems and practically badger editor Franklin Cabaluna into publishing them in the literary section of his soft-porn magazine, Fina. She gave me the highest recommendation in my first reportorial job. She had my survey forms for my undergrad thesis mimeographed and disseminated by her own students to lessen my feelings of being overwhelmed at the academic requirements before me. And when my first book of poems was published and launched, she barged into the publisher's office the next day, demanding to buy the unsold copies.

Her carport-turned-porch on M. Viola street was a magnet for "kindred spirits," she called us, on Sundays in the early '80s; we hanged out there right after breakfast, overstretching the couple's hospitality by staying on till early dinner. Actress Gigi DueƱas quipped, "Mabuti na lang di alam ni Imelda (Marcos) about High Tea with the E's or else gagayahin niya rin."

This generosity of spirit, the sticking out of one's neck for one's student even way after she has graduated, is mostly lacking in teachers I've encountered when I went back to school at the same university in this decade. Overweening ambition/careerism, I surmise, generally defines the academics of today. Mrs. E once took the young instructors in the English department to task in a poem, dismissing them as "these young competitresses."

Even as she rose to become associate dean of the College of Arts and Letters, she did not demand an office with a view or one equipped with comforts and staff befitting the post. I still visited her at faculty room number 1118, the one assigned to her after she returned from Harvard and her other colleagues had earlier picked out the better located rooms. She gave me the spare key to that room one summer so I could concentrate on my freelance writing assignments when I was in between jobs. Later, I learned that she was not wont to do that with just anyone.

I suppose that was Mrs. E's personal and affirming legacy to me, the one I wish to pass on to my students: that I am, and they are, special.

"Hey, Teach, nice pants!"--Carem to Teacher Babeth

Poster grabbed from Gwenn Galvez's Facebook page

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Nieves in Excelsis


Today, July 24, is Nieves Benito Epistola's 84th birthday. She left too soon in 2002. Following is a reprint of an old piece where this blogger, her student in stylistics, tried to sum up her life after her death in September that year.
___________________________

Why do you feed your students?

Nieves Benito Epistola, professor emeritus of the Department of English and Comparative Literature at the University of the Philippines Diliman, was often asked this through much of her career that spanned 51 years. Her answer remained the same: “There are three good reasons for doing things. The first important need is physiological; the second, to have security or a sense of belonging, and the third, self-actualization.”

She used to say, whenever she was assigned to a 7 a.m. or a 12 noon class, “How can you expect them to learn if they are hungry? Communication is easier if you eat the same things. On the metaphorical level, you give them nourishment for the mind.”

Apart from language, the center of her life’s work, this genuine concern for the needs of students and other people marked the life of the woman popularly known as Mrs. E.

She almost did not make it to UP. Her original dream was to become a teacher at the provincial high school in Lingayen, Pangasinan, her hometown. Her idol was her teacher, Fe Manza, who went on to become a Department of Education superintendent.
“I wanted to be like her, to go back and serve my province,” Mrs. E said.

In those days, high school teachers in the provinces were mostly UP graduates. But the parish priest discouraged Nieves Benito from going to UP because he feared that she would become an atheist and a communist.

She went to Bishop Mariano Madriaga to ask his permission. He said, “You can take care of yourself. By the way, I am also a UP graduate.”

She entered postwar UP in 1946 along with the valedictorians, salutatorians and other high school honor graduates. When the main campus moved from Padre Faura street, Manila, to Diliman in 1949, so did she and her batch mates. Then UP President Bienvenido Gonzalez gave them diplomas of distinction for being pioneer students of Diliman, Quezon City.

For her undergraduate practicum, she taught Section A of UP High School. The class, made up of the brightest fourth-year students, was notorious for making practice teachers cry.

“They were not able to make me cry. Takot sa akin,” said the towering, five-feet-seven B.S. Education major.

The next semester, she was again given Section A, but she didn’t prepare a lesson plan, only an outline of activities. She taught English like a college class, and it worked.

Her career interconnected with the growth of the campus. Gonzalez showed her his vision for UP Diliman from his office. He told her that the Main Library would be at the center because it is the heart and soul of the university. Around it would be the classroom buildings. Dormitories would occupy the circle outside the classrooms. The outermost rim would be for employee housing.

“That was when I realized the symbolic structure of Diliman,” she said.
Gonzalez recruited her to be a UP instructor. Ever since, she personally knew every university president after him.

After graduating in 1950, Miss Benito was first sent to UP’s small college in Iloilo where she taught English and philosophy of education for a year. She witnessed the experiments of the community school movement led by the late father of writer Mila D. Aguilar.

These experiments used Hiligaynon as the medium of instruction in grade school. Research showed that two out of 10 pupils dropped out because they only learned a smattering of English. They still ended up illiterate.

She said, “In the control group conducted in English, the children were attentive, respectful and looked up to the teacher. That was the teacher-centered class. In the experimental group, a little boy was in front, conducting class discussions, interacting in Hiligaynon while the teacher stayed at the back. It was a student-centered class. That made an impact on me.”

She continued, “I had no technical terms for my observations then, no vocabulary to deal with the new situation. My B.S.E. training was in traditional grammar which is prescriptive. When you say grammar, you look at every sentence a student writes to see how well he or she knows and applies the rules.”

To Diliman, she returned. Dr. Cecilio Lopez, the father of linguistics in the Philippines, tried to “pirate” her from the English department where she was taking course work for her masters.

Lopez invited her to the colloquia of the Summer Institute of Linguistics. The focus was on studies of the unrecorded languages in Mindanao done by missionary couples. She wondered, “Why were foreigners doing the research for us? We should do it ourselves!”

She went back to her home province to study the Pangasinan language. In linguistics she found a blend of the humanities and sciences. When Lopez attended conferences abroad, she took over his classes.

One day he told her, “Miss Benito, you’re going to Yale University to do your Ph.D. under Dr. Isidore Dyen.” (Dyen was a famous linguist.)

Her answer was: “I’ll think about it.” Silvino V. Epistola, now a retired professor of philosophy and Asian studies, was her boyfriend. The year was 1958; they planned to wed in 1960.

Over dinner, she told him that she was going to be sent to the US so the wedding would not push through as scheduled. S.V. insisted, “It’s 1960 or nothing.”

Dr. Tomas Fonacier, dean of the College of Liberal Arts, told S.V. that he would soon be sent as a Mombusho scholar, one of the first from the Philippines, to the University of Tokyo.

That was the clincher–the faculty sweethearts decided to marry on April 26, 1958 at historic Pinaglabanan Church in San Juan with Fr. Pacifico Ortiz, S.J., officiating. The new Mrs. Epistola wore a white dress of mid-calf length. The only other people present were the couple’s respective parents, fellow faculty member Josefa Lava and her husband Buddy.

Mrs. E paraphrased D.H. Lawrence in describing her relationship with S.V., “You should not feel superior or inferior to anyone. You’re just aware of a human presence."

Having been a wartime teenager, Mrs. E always associated the Japanese with soldiers. But when their plane touched down in Tokyo on a Sunday, she and her husband saw families taking a stroll, the women in their kimono.

The two years spent honeymooning and studying there were, in her words, “a beautiful sojourn. The Japanese have a sense of aesthetics. Even the smallest shop displayed flowers. When I first went to a department store, I was awed because all that they sold were made in Japan. I acquired a consciousness of not just being a Filipino but an Asian, too.”

While S.V. got the meat and bones of Tanizaki and other novelists, in the original Japanese, Mrs. E trained in Malayo-Polynesian linguistics under the eminent linguist, Prof. Shiro Hattori. She earned his admiration for doing the first work on a Filipino verbal system.

Her facility in linguistics enabled her to communicate with Japanese vendors. She guested in cultural radio programs six times and memorized or read messages in Nippongo translated for her in Roman letters by a friend.

The Japanese students went to the Epistola house to practice their English, accompanying the Filipino couple to the Catholic church on Sundays.

One Sunday, Mrs. E overhead a student asking another, “Do you believe in God?”

“No,” came the reply. “I just came to hear English.”

Mrs. E cooked sinigang for many Filipinos stationed in Japan. This dish she served moved them to tears. They often said, “Ganito ang luto ng nanay namin sa Pilipinas.”

In 1960, the Epistolas returned to their home country only for her to fall ill. After her appendectomy was complicated by intestinal adhesions, she nearly died. She described the experience, “I was up there, looking at my body lying on the hospital bed with S.V. seated beside it. It was like the book Embraced by the Light."

UP President Carlos P. Romulo chose S.V. to go to Harvard University on a Rockefeller grant.

Although she would be entitled to $400 a month as “wife allowance” to support her husband’s studies, Mrs. E applied as an M.A. student in linguistics at Harvard. Dr. Lopez and Shiro Hattori sent to Boston testimonials about her excellence as a teacher and a scholar. She received her acceptance papers two weeks ahead of S.V. That got him worried.

Dr. Felixberto Santa Maria, then the English department chair, objected to Mrs. E’s going into linguistics. “That means when you come back, you’ll be with the Department of Linguistics. You’re the best English 1 and 2 teacher there is.”

She argued, “Eighty percent of work in the English department involves language teaching. Graduate studies in linguistics will make me a better freshman English teacher. Masarap turuan ang freshmen. They’re starry-eyed.”

And she vowed to herself, “Maski na matanda na ako, I’ll still be enthusiastic about teaching.”

During the Epistolas’ five years in Boston, they were exposed to the students’ anti-Vietnam War activism. This readied them for the First Quarter Storm.

The couple attended a memorable lecture of Argentinian writer Jorge Luis Borges. He recited poems in Old English and said, “What are words but shared memories?”

Mrs. E went backstage and introduced herself to him as “your admirer from the Philippines.” The poet-fictionist said, “Oh, I’ve read Rizal” in the original Spanish. She also shook hands with pianists Van Cliburn and Arthur Rubinstein and cellist Mtislav Rostropovich, and enjoyed other concerts at Boston Symphony Hall with its perfect acoustics.

Roman Jacobson, the founder of stylistics (the application of linguistic methods to literary study), was Mrs. E’s mentor for five years. “I got it straight from the horse’s mouth,” she said, she simplified his formula into style equals repetition with variation, with or without contrast.

Jacobson was the first to create a language communication model that integrated many ideas in the 1950s. This model focuses on an ideal communication between an addresser and an addressee.

She said, “An addresser sends a message to the addressee by means of a code common to them. There must be a context. More importantly, there must be contact.”

From Calvert Watkins, head of Harvard’s linguistics department and a classical scholar, she learned this: “When you’re a student of linguistics, you must be interested in anything involving language.”

Her own view was: “We need a healthy dose of science in dealing with language. In the Philippine context, it’s so difficult to get people to understand the nature of language because everybody thinks that he/she is an expert. Everybody is either bilingual or multilingual.”

Since Harvard students were allowed access to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), which is just 10 minutes away by bus, Mrs. E went there to listen to Noam Chomsky, considered the god of linguistics. Only two to three MIT students were formally enrolled, but many auditors and admirers came. The class moved to a bigger lecture room.

Every time Mrs. E, the elected secretary of the Harvard Linguistics Club, returned to her home campus, her classmates asked her, “What’s the latest from the god?”

She was exposed to Harvard’s male chauvinism (“Anywhere you go, it’s downward from here”), and learned the finer points of baseball and American football when she watched these games with S.V.

When they went to the States, they brought with them two suitcases. Although they accumulated knickknacks and household appliances, including a complete set of glassware for every type of drink, they gave these all away. They carried the same number of suitcases upon their return to the Philippines.

They brought back books, and records. Mrs. E said Dr. Rod Paras Perez, then enrolled at Harvard, “lovingly packed our books. Everything he does is a work of art.”

She offered to cook him a special breakfast before his comprehensives. “I’ll come, provided S.V. doesn’t say anything,” he said. He came, had breakfast with the E’s, and S.V. kept his promise to keep his trap shut.

Back at UP, she introduced to her department the idea of a dynamic, interactive classroom. Instead of giving a lecture on linguistics, she presented to her colleagues for discussion Tom Fawthrop’s “On Examinations.” This essay “revolutionized the thinking of everybody. It attacked the grading systems that were based on exams,” she said.

Her expository writing classes not only meant writing exercises but also opportunities for oral interaction. Chairs were rearranged face to face. She and Prof. Dolores Stephens Feria turned these classes into “idea courses” where Third World perspectives, sexual politics, among other topics, were discussed.

Aware that “you cannot come from a vacuum when you have to talk about ideas in a group,” Mrs. E put together essays by assorted writers, condensed and edited them. The collection is called Democratic Visions: Readings in English 5.

An indication of her participation in upholding freedom during the Marcos regime was when she tried getting her passport validated for an academic year’s stay in China. She could not get her clearance and was given the runaround. Later, an official told her that there was a thick military dossier on her because she had helped many students who went underground.

Not batting an eyelash, she answered, “Yes, that’s true. I help all my students, whether underground or above ground.” She proceeded to lecture the official for two hours telling him, “What we do at UP is also for the country.”

From 1983 to 1984, she taught at the Beijing Language Institute. It was her first time to be abroad without S.V. “After 25 years of marriage, he wasn’t my bedmate. Many of my pet cats died,” she mused.

She lived in a suite at the Friendship Hotel. Her bedroom had two single beds. When Mrs. Feria visited her and stayed for some time, she introduced the American woman to others as her half-sister. “In the land of concubines, that wasn’t unusual,” Mrs. E said.

During her first six months in Beijing, her movements were restricted to the hotel, the school and the Friendship Store. She got her mail by diplomatic pouch from the Philippine Embassy which was 10 minutes away from the store.

“It was like living in a huge cage. I couldn’t keep notes or a diary. I was limited to teaching and my instructional materials. Six Chinese persons would clean my room. They were the eyes and ears of the administration. I borrowed Animal Farm from the British Council, but I never got to show it to my students because we were being monitored,” she said of the cramped democratic space.

She did not call her students by their Chinese names. They adopted English names. One even chose “Chomsky” for himself.

Mrs. E said, “I bet you some of my former students died at Tiananmen Square. They were listening to the Voice of America, and most were asking for recommendations to study in the States.”

In a small room in the institute, she saw the books of Mao Zedong gathering dust. In the Great Hall of the People, she witnessed Communist Party leaders enjoying huge ponkan oranges that were unavailable in the public market. She learned that these were only for the leaders. She had caught the tail-end of the Cultural Revolution.

The stay was instructive though. “Everything is grand and great in China,” she said. “I saw a one-thousand-year-old tree. In most of Europe, the landmarks can only go as far back as hundreds of years. I climbed the Great Wall twice, the right and the left sides, and had my lunch up there.”

Again she returned to UP where she later become associate dean of the College of Arts and Letters. She officially retired in 1991. But the English department asked her to continue teaching on a reduced load. She handled graduate courses in rhetoric, pragmatics and discourse analysis.

She went on teaching, learning (“Everything is a learning experience!” she often exclaimed) and taking care of S.V. In 2000, two aneurysms were discovered in the left side of his brain. The condition sidelined him. For a month Mrs. E commuted from Diliman to the Philippine General Hospital, where he was confined, and back.

Her dream was “to still be alive in 2000, but the year went by just like that.”

In January this year, S.V. had a heart attack. He seems to have recovered. His wife pointedly told him at Gilda and Marcelo Fernando’s golden wedding anniversary party in June to stay the course so they could make it to their own 50th in 2008. Suddenly, she caught a persistent cold in August.

Her health spiraled downward so fast. From her PGH sickbed, she instructed S.V. to drop by a supermarket on his way home and buy cans of mackerel for her cats and kittens. She reminded him to religiously take his medicines. She sent several text messages on the eve of her death, one wishing “Good luck” to a grandniece finishing her thesis.

Her final actions showed that she was summing up a life that replicated the prayer, “Others, Lord, others that I may live in Thee.” And so she went.

Originally published in Malaya, Sept. 23, 2002

Photo shows Nieves with National Artist Jose Maceda and Dr. S.V. Epistola (taken by the author at her 75th birthday celebration at the UP Executive House in 2001)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Odette, Lola O, O.A.


The Benito sisters, Nieves and Lourdes, the eternal Odette who liked to refer to herself as the Black Swan, were not only tall and willowy, they were the perfect hosts, each in her own fashion.

Where the more cerebral Mrs. E (the name by which Nieves B. Epistola was called by her students and proteges in the ’70s) selected her own society that hung around her porch on M. Viola street at the UP Diliman campus, Odette, the queen of hearts, flung open the doors of the old Heritage Art Center at its original location in San Juan to all and sundry. She was its moving spirit when it changed location to Cubao. And when it burned down and moved to another location, her Blue Ridge home acquired a democratic gravitational pull of its own, attracting artists, chess players, ideologues and environmentalists.

Mrs. E liked to tell stories about her kid sister: how she gifted her with Benjamin Spock’s book which became Odette’s bible in raising her four sons; how bored Odette was with being a corporate banker’s wife and how she went into a rice-selling business, to Ate Nievs’ chagrin. Mrs. E thought of giving Odette an art book this time and that started her on art dealing. The sideline turned into a main line until Mario Alcantara and sons took over the business.

Even when she was the doyenne of that mini-cultural center, venue for book launches, concerts, bazaars and plays, including Miss Rita Gomez’s unforgettable performance of The Human Voice under Anton Juan’s direction, I intuited that Odette’s heart was not into the day-to-day running of a business, even if it allowed her to interact with her kind of crazy wonderful people.

Her office opened to a balcony where she’d be seen with nose buried in a book or bent over a chessboard while a heated argument went on at the Manansala CafĆ© below. Once, I saw Mario looking totally pissed off because Odette suddenly jumped into a car with a bouquet of flowers to meet Miss Gomez somewhere and left him to handle a gallery full of visitors. It was a quintessentially Odette gesture to give artists a sense of their importance in her, and by extension, the community’s, life.

Famed for her punning, this talent of hers found a creative outlet when she and some friends formed the core of Los Enemigos. If humor could help bring down a more than 20-year-old dictatorship, Los Enemigos should share part of the credit.

It was as an environmentalist, however, that Odette hit her stride. As she said, “This is a rainbow coalition where the left, right, center can come together.” Sometimes her alliances with whoever was environment secretary at the moment, from Fulgencio Factoran to Victor Ramos to Angelo Reyes and Lito Atienza, would make her friends flinch. But if it could increase the country’s forest cover, she would’ve wined and dined the Devil itself.

She wasn’t anyone’s patsy, though. On his first day of office at the vital Department of Environment and Natural Resources, Atienza turned up wearing his signature Hawaiian shirt unlike the outgoing Reyes whose military training made him dress more formally to give importance to the office.

Odette described the incoming secretary’s shirt as “kukur couture.”

I asked, “How’s that again?”

“Kukurtinahin!” she gasped and laughed.

Her commitment was so total that she turned around the awful garbage situation in her exclusive subdivision. Blue Ridge became a model community where members learned composting and waste segregation. Troops of schoolchildren would fill her sala where she, actor Roy Alvarez or her other amigas/amigos in the cause would lecture and demonstrate how easy cleaning up the environment is. There was always a feast of suman and other kakanin and juice afterwards so the children would get a firsthand exercise on how to dispose of biodegradable banana leaf wrappers in her backyard by burying them.

At one of Gilda Cordero Fernando’s parties in the mid-1990s, wary that all that would come out of Odette’s mouth would be another mini-lecture on garbage (a joke that went around was: “There’s nothing in Odette’s mind but basura!”), I made small talk, wondering aloud what the key to longevity was.

Her answer came quick: “I’m going to live long because I’ve decided to take on toxic waste. Ridding the planet of it will take forever!”

Illustration is Odette as I see her now: from black swan to green butterfly