Oh Mama!

"Love your parents and treat them with loving care. For you will only know their value when you see their empty chair." - from FamilyShare.com

Mommy, or everyone's Mommy Lolarga or Lola Nene, with her eldest son Junic who arrived Monday last week from Canada to everyone's surprise just to be by her side during her recovery period

I've only hinted about the illness in the house in past blogs, and I hope the worst of it is over. We know Mom won't be the same. At 88 going on 89 and even if her stubborn and hardy heart believes it still ticks like a teener's 17-year-old heart on prom night, she has to move towards acceptance, then serenity, that things won't be and ain't what they used to be. I interpret her illness as her body's rebellion against the beyond-human-limits activities she has engaged in the winter of her life, mainly, home management, keeping the family together and the many details of life that her obsessive compulsiveness can't ignore.

I've always interpreted illness or disease as the body's way of telling you to stop, pause, look, listen before continuing your journey at a pace more kindly to yourself. Many times I've been tempted to shout into Mom's ear that taking care of yourself or leaving something for yourself is not selfishness at all, but it can be a form of altruism, too.

When my siblings and I discuss our individual streaks of stubbornness, we are agreed on where its source is. But a strong will to survive and stubbornness enabled Mom to survive this latest crisis. Now I am an interested observer on how survival will segue to endurance and grace.

As our 85-year-old aunt Choleng ages (seen here with husband, Tito Rene), her Chinese features become more apparent.

Yesterday, celebrated as Palm Sunday in the Christian world, when Jesus entered Jerusalem to cries of "Hosanna in the highest," our clan had a mini-reunion to say "Bievenue" to once prodigal, now extremely good and gentle, son Junic and to be grateful that Mom and her younger sister, my confirmation ninang, Soledad "Choleng" Diaz, are over the hump, health-wise. We thank Lita and Shorty Server for hosting that hosanna lunch and merienda punctuated with so much laughter, the great reliever of stress.

Many people showed their support for our mother and our family in many ways, chief of which is prayer. To you our eternal gratitude! I close this Holy Monday entry with the serenity prayer taught to me by my high school Religion teacher, Auguste Sarte, SPC (I once owned an estampita of this):

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Thanks, Steven King, for taking this picture. This is only about an eighth of the size of the clan on Mommy's side.

Merry me, marry me

"We come from the earth, we return to the earth and in between we garden." - Anonymous

Or in between we gather, we sup, we make merry, we even marry when the occasion demands it. I have been silent on this space for many many days. That means I'm either backsliding and losing it or the season's requirements pushed blogging aside. A combination of both, I must say, with that in between sloth overcoming me during the lull between Christmas and New Year.

But not today. I assembled some pictures that I was resourceful enough to capture to help my memory along. From late November to December I've been to a total of six reunions, all indicative of a successful conquering of that anti-social streak in my personality. The temptation to remain a recluse and do my "socializing" through the comfort of the home and from the Internet remains ever-present, but let me not be the Grinch that spoils anyone's Christmas.

Here's to all of you, you who smiled for my camera, sang and put a lilt in my heart, you who reunited and married, you the dearly departed whose absence this season is a palpable stinging pinch on the flesh, you who I may have crossed or hurt. A cousin (thank you, Eileen Lolarga) reminded me to be less Babeth and more Christlike so love love love to all!

After I thanked Dr. Boots Camagay (center) and Jenny Juan (right) for coming to the intimate reunion lunch for my balikbayan cousin and their college buddy Rosemarie Romero, Boots replied, "It is a privilege that comes with genuine friendship." Jenny recalled the several "tender moments" we had laughing about relationships, laughing in the face of death and mourning (Boots is a new widow), in the face of setbacks financial and psychic.

Rose's reason for coming home after 12 long years of residence in Windsor, Canada, is the wedding of her only son Yonni Habulan (about to march down the middle of the aisle) to Lady Ngo.

The bride dramatically silhouetted against the open doors of the San Antonio de Padua Church in Silang, Cavite

Why the tears, beautiful bride? I wanted to ask Lady as she marched down the aisle. Her and Yonni's love and back story covers nearly two decades before it was blessed at the altar--from college sweethearts to new graduates to young architect and designer building up their own business to winning awards for their works before deciding to be man and wife.

The wedding was occasion for an impromptu Lolarga-Romero-Delos Reyes reunion as my sisters, cousins and niece tried to catch up on one another's lives. Seated at the Ville Sommet events place are Rose Romero, Suzy Lolarga and Eileen. Standing are my sister Pinky Lolarga Susi, a for-once-decently-dressed blogger and niece Regina de los Reyes.

Yonni serenades the lady of his heart and soul. I'm a sucker for gestures like this one. I teared up one too many times that evening. Good thing there was lechon and roast beef to distract me. Most photos by Babeth Lolarga

When cousins are friends

Cousin Henry with his retired man's pouch lends an ear to a niece.

To keep my sanity during this season's frenzy, I try to be selective about with whom to spend my time, with whom socializing isn't a strain (that is, I can be myself, especially where LOLs are concerned--hearty and uninhibited and damn Emily Post).

Every year, that's my December resolution, and so far I've managed to apply this with, I'm proud to say, some stick-to-it-tiveness. I've junked the Aunty Social stance--life's too short and too grand to be a grouchy hermit. The friends who I've managed to keep in the autumn of my life are way too precious for me to just email a Christmas letter to. If they're around and they'd appreciate my company, of course, I will run at the first summons. The same with family members who make up my first friends in life.

When balikbayan cousin Henry Romero (his nickname is also spelled Enri) called for a luncheon clan reunion, the turnout was good, although Baguio duties kept me away. Wala bang Take 2? Well, there was one open Saturday for a hurriedly organized reunion of absentees from that earlier reunion. Unless someone offers to host everything, the reunions of the Lolarga, Romero and Valdellon families are potluck affairs with no consultation, no declaration of what pot contents we will bring.

So we welcomed Henry again with homemade spaghetti, store-bought suman and sapin-sapin, siopao and siomai, ensaymada and oranges. Henry wolfed down two siopaos and half-laughingly told of how he brought his son Dino, who's returning to LA, on a nostalgic trip to Ma Mon Luk only for the younger man to complain that the food tasted like rags. I guess it's a generation thing.

It was good to see Henry talking, listening, giving advice, hoping aloud for another reunion even if it's 10 years down the road and our generation by then will be hard of hearing and of walking. He was natural in the role of family elder.

Meanwhile, we're grateful just to be together for a few hours with a December moon hovering over the snug condo where our niece Regina May de los Reyes had just moved in.

Blogging relative, Dino and Henry Romero, Regina May de los Reyes and Yonni Habulan

Gathered 'round the kitchen-cum-dining table with cousin Eileen Lolarga (third from left) and Yonni's fiance Lady (to Regina's right)

We are family

That's life. One day you're just chewing biscuits and nuts and chugging down room-temperature water, next day you're part of a feast for a princess. The princess is our youngest child Ida who, as I write, is already flying back to Singapore after a too-short visit marked by big family meals.

There were reasons for us who were in Baguio to come down to celebrate the multiple occasions: Ida's homecoming, Kimi's 29th birthday, the forthcoming Father's Day. But land trips can be boring after awhile so I played with the old reliable digicam and attempted some selfies. Kimi had always discouraged me from doing selfies because my face almost always was cropped heavily or it looked abnormally wide.

It's to her credit that she hit on the idea of a staycation at the new Tune Hotel along Shaw Blvd., Ortigas Center, just five minutes by cab from Mom's house (look for its red and white signage). She booked us early so we had adjoining rooms at a budget price. Shangri-La Plaza and SM Megamall, where we had two consecutive dinners, were within walking distance.

Old couple in a bus amuse themselves with a selfie.

First reunion dinner at Ketttle at Shang's East Wing. That's Ida in a white top with floral necklace, always well put together like her Tatay. Beside her Kimi and Kai who fell asleep immediately after dinner.

The girls knew what and how to order. Corn muffins paired with buttermilk fried chicken with two kinds of dips: old-fashioned brown gravy and maple syrup. The syrup won us.

The truffle-infused pasta with gorgonzola cheese before the serving plate emptied fast

Ida and Rolly were at Boqueria early, and we caught them enjoying their beers in mason glass jars.

Kai can be a handful during that lull between ordering and waiting for our orders to be served. Good thing my sister Suzy carries this magnifying glass in her purse.

Thumbs up for the calamares (top) and the paella Madrilena.

Our completeness completes me. And we're even color-coordinated without planning it. See you again, Ida.