Karlo Marko's superb longga

Rolly and I are in a good mood today what with the hefty breakfast we had of sunny side up eggs, fried rice cooked in the fat rendered by the country style bacon made by That Mountain High, meat smokers led by our godson Karlo Marko Altomonte. The slices of bacon did not shrink as I cooked them without oil on the Teflon pan. In the past, we bought commercial bacon, and this would shrink so fast, you had to cook a whole pack to feed a demanding family that wanted their bacon crisp and dry. Last night, we tried Karlo's smoked longganisa. It said on its label: "pork sausage flavored with garlic, vinegar and spices, smoked with a blend of aromatic wood chips." The sausage links lived up to expectation after they were cooked in a half cup of water. As soon as the water evaporated, the links were allowed to cook in the small amount of fat they rendered. No shrinkage either. The sausages were still as long as my hand and not the size of my pinky. We made a mental note to order another batch of meats when Karlo gets his smoker roaring again. Baguio residents have all the luck. He only charges 25 pesos for delivery anywhere in the city. Look out for the bohemian on a motorbike. Patronize local business!

Lechonitis & other pleasurable sins

At noon of Chinese Lunar Year, on my way home from a Tibetan Buddhist temple (a first visit), after partaking of the community's vegetarian lunch, I received an SMS from a writer friend, a gourmand down to his funny bone. He was exasperated that he had put too much vinegar into the lechon leavings that he was trying to turn into a paksiw with a brown sauce.

Still full from a lunch of noodles, gluten served a variety of ways, braised veggies and a dessert of Mandarin orange, I gulped and asked, "Anong lasa?"

He answered that it was a mix of adobo and paksiw. I thought I felt the stirrings of acid reflux from the imagined taste of both adobo and paksiw put together.

I warned him how suicidal his diet has become.

His reply: "Yah, I know, but often I feel I am on the home stretch na. Kaya feeling no-foods-barred na :-D"

Well, I told him not to be in too much hurry to leave his mortal coils. An enterprising cook may yet invent fat-free lechon that will take the guilt out of being an unrepentant carnivore in the age of health food consciousness.

Not letting the subject go, he replied again: "I can look for a pig that's fed only vegetables. Will that do?"

I said the Prado Farm in Pampanga raises pigs that are fed arugula leaves. "Organic lechon," they call it, with a whole duck inserted in the pig's belly, then roasted altogether.

I could almost hear him laughing out loud when he texted: "That's a whole new meaning for 'double dead'!" He couldn't stop himself from following up: "Hmmm. Has anyone thought of stuffing a whole roast calf with a lechon stuffed with a duck? Ick! Parang Russian matryoshka dolls. Eeeww, pardon the analogy!"

I got into the spirit, suggesting that this new dish should end with a camaru as only a Kapampangan cook could invent something like that.

Old friend texted back: "Or longganisa of all kinds--Vigan, Baguio, Lucban, Capiz, Tuguegarao. Or even quite logically, balut!"

That's when I decided to put a stop to the whole crazy exchange. I could feel the healthy food I digested regurgitating.

Friend understood my queasiness, and ended the virtual conversation with: "Ok,kaivegan na lang tayo :-D"

Kai-vegan, got it?

Longing for Longga

One time I was writing something—I’ve forgotten what it was—but I needed to use the Latin phrase “Art is long, life is short.” I texted two pals who had an Ateneo education, sure that they would remember the original Latin. Amadis Ma. Guerrero said sorry, he couldn’t quite recall the words precisely. Butch Macansantos attempted something that had “longa” in it, adding that it just made him hungry thinking of longganisa. Recently I ran into the expression in a book: “Ars longa, vita brevis.” Yes, the longa part is evocative of those ropes of longganisa at the Baguio public market. Tip from restaurateur Edna Anton (but she has sworn off meat as she is recovering from an illness): choose the Tuvera brand. Photo by BABETH