My life in kick-ass posters

 Of the many things I ponder about, primarily the source of my next "pin money", a euphemism I use for the piddling amounts I receive, with gratitude, if I may declare so, to underwrite the things that make like worthwhile (e.g., books, pens, paints, cheap brushes, transport fare to get from here to there and back again), none makes me go deeper into myself than the most uproariously funny e-mails that arrive daily.

The source of these "posters," "greeting cards," "mottoes," whatever you decide to call them, is a friend whose consistent "we're doomed" pessimism and mordant analysis of local and world events somehow throw a lighted neon bulb in my sometimes irritatingly Polyanna-ish world. So thank you, dear FPV, for points to ponder that make me wonder (aaargh! awful pun there).

The doctor may be right, and I might just be able to save myself and my long-suffering family thousands of pesos spent on analysis sessions and meds.

And going to McDo for a caramel sundae after a night of drinking yourself blind or working till your ass has the imprint of a solihiya-woven seat is like getting a kiss from a rose.

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So stay in your quiet corner, kiddo, and hit the books. Remember: "Following complex story lines stretches our brains beyond the 140 characters of sound-bite thinking, and staying within the world of a novel gives us the ability to be quiet and alone, two skills that are disappearing faster than the polar icecaps." Thanks for the handy quote, Ms. Ann Pachett.

Hmmm, this partly explains why I don't last longer than three to four years in a steady job. My all-time record is two and a half  months or was it one day?

This must be a not-quite-subtle variation of "Don't get mad. Get an AK-47."

Yeah, try talking to that clawed hand. Tough experience has repeatedly proven to me that getting into arguments, especially with a person with a huge chip on her shoulder (caused by a sad sad childhood or some cancerous venom in the blood), leads nowhere and can be exhausting. So follow, or be, the wise simian who counsels: "Just stop."

HIGH FIVE ON THIS ONE!